I’m in the process of filling out a memory and keepsake journal for my family. I’ve been working on it for a while because there are lots of questions and my hand gets tired. There was a particular question, What I miss most about being a child. I was stumped. I thought about the obvious answer like no responsibility, but really, did I miss being a child? And then I thought, would I go back and relive my childhood? There are definitely things I would do differently, if I could. But God gives us this one chance at life. That’s it. I’m 61 now. I’ve had a wonderful and rewarding life but face it, it’s on the downhill slide from here on out.
But If I could have a do-over knowing what I know now I hope that I would do better. I would be kinder and braver and make better choices. I would appreciate the time I spent with my family and friends more, especially the ones that have left this world. I would have tried harder, loved more. Yeah, right.
Does anyone actually live their life to the fullest or is that just something you say. It sounds good. In reality, I would probably make all of the same decisions (and mistakes) all over again. I’d steal those balloons again, just like I did when I was 5 years old and blame it on some kids who dared me to do it. I’d still lie and say I was sick with a belly ache or wrap a thermometer up in a heated pad so my temperature would be 180 degrees just so I wouldn’t have to go to school. I’d lie through my teeth because that’s what most kids do.
I could never be perfect. If I was, I certainly wouldn’t need Jesus. He would have come for all you other poor lost souls.
Now, this day, is the time to do better. I know Jesus now and have the Holy Spirit trying His best to get me through each day. I feel convicted, for example, when I stick out my tongue at someone or mock them. This may or may not be my husband, whom I love more than words can convey.
So, I would not go back. Absolutely not. I am who I am. I did what I did, and I know what I know. I am who I am today because of my mistakes, my triumphs, and because of all of the choices I made. I am at peace, but I will also always strive to be better, do better and love more.
I will be posting a short story in the near future. Click and subscribe to my page so you won’t miss it!
Writing my first novel. Haha!
My awkward self in the 4th grade.
I think this may be when I was beginning to have a little more confidence. I looked pretty sassy in that pose.
6th grade…riding my brother’s skateboard
Karen G. Bruce 