Part 4: I was borned a coal miner’s granddaughter but my daddy joined the Navy

Betty, mom’s oldest sister, was married to Bill Ramey and they had the one son, Donnie.  Grandma had a hard time when she gave birth to Betty.  On Betty’s birthday, she always told about how she was ready to die but when her baby girl was finally born, she felt like she could have run circles around the house; she was that happy.  After Grandma died, Betty’s sisters would have to tell the story on Betty’s birthday because it always made her feel special.  Donnie became a policeman and then a state trooper and finally a crime scene investigator before he eventually retired.  Betty’s husband, Bill, was an alcoholic until the day he almost burned up in a fire while camping.  He was burned all over his body and was in the hospital for a long time.  He finally recovered and never touched a drop of liquor again.  Betty was sure glad about that! 

            Betty was the manager for a bunch of trailer parks.  She was good too.  She didn’t take any monkey business and knew who was lying and who was telling the truth, sort of like Judge Judy.  If they said they didn’t have enough money to pay the lot rent because they had to make the car payment, she would tell them she hoped they liked living in their car.  She was queen of the trailer park AND she had a redwood deck.  Betty died a few years ago.  We all still miss her like crazy.  She was so funny and would crack us up.  Just like Grandma, mama, and all her sisters, she could cook.  I loved to go over to her house when she was making goulash and cornbread.

            Betty loved to laugh.  When all the sisters got together, usually at her house, you never heard so much laughter.  Sometimes they would meet out for lunch and lucky was the person that waited on them because they would pile the tip money on the table. 

            Betty had a little Pekingesedog named, Missy that she had for years.  Missy was the meanest dog and would bite you if you looked at her wrong.  She was so spoiled and even had her own chair in the living room.  You were risking your life if you dared take it, right Kristy?  Later, she got a Yorkie and named her Katy.  Katy was spoiled too and never went outside, but instead used pee pads which were placed all over Betty’s trailer.   You had to jump around them just to get through the house.  Katie was afraid of the grass and she loved to steal money out of your purse.

            My mama’s sister Sue was married to Freddy, who was retired from the Army.  They had one son, Michael or Michael P Duty as we called him.  I always loved my aunt Sue.  She called me Kitten and let me do whatever I wanted.  She worked at Montgomery Ward when they lived in Newport News and I thought she was pretty important.  I have no idea what she did but she had the run of the store and let me have whatever I wanted.  Sue and my uncle Freddy were a pair.  Their favorite past time was fighting.  Some people don’t like to fight but Sue and Freddy thrived on it.  Sue was a little thing and Freddy was probably a little bigger than average but she didn’t care.  He would push her down and she would pop up faster than you could say Boo and be right back in his face.  They loved each other dearly though. 

            One time when my mama was first married to daddy she was staying with my daddy’s parents while he was overseas.  Lottie and Cecil were very strict and made you go to church as my daddy used to say, ‘every time the doors were open.’  Sue and Freddy came by to pick up mama for some fun, since all she did was go to church, and Granny and Granddaddy got real aggravated, him being a bad influence and all.  Freddy had a bumper sticker on his car that said All girls who smoke, put your butts in here, which didn’t give mom’s in-laws much of a good opinion, but mama hopped in anyway. 

            Cousin Michael almost killed me once.  We were all at Grandma and Grandpa’s house in Harmon.  Michael was a lot bigger than me.  He and my brother got the big idea to put me on one end of a board that had a big rock underneath the middle of it.  Michael ran and jumped on the other end propelling me up into the air.  I landed with a huge thud, knocking the breath right out of me, causing him and my brother to think I was dead for a few seconds.  I’m sure I probably exaggerated my injuries and held it over their heads for as long as I could get by with it.

            My aunt Sue was sassy and I hardly ever saw her without a cigarette in her mouth.  One time I drove her to the gas station because she was out of cigarettes.   She bought two packs.  I asked her why she didn’t just buy a whole carton and save some money.  She said, “If I buy a carton I won’t stop until I smoke the whole carton.”  Those cigarettes eventually killed her.  She tried so many times to quit but never could. Sue was also one of the most giving people I ever knew.  She was like Jesus that way.  If you asked to borrow a dollar, she would give you two.  She would give you whatever you needed, even if that left her with nothing. 

            Eula Fay was only sixteen months younger than mama but she was pretty feisty. She was married to Marion (mom’s family pronounced it Murian).  Mama said Eula whipped her every day of her life growing up.  Sandy, mama’s youngest sister, said that when Eula was out on a date, she would come home and make Sandy leave her warm spot in the bed so she could have it.  All the girls slept in the same bed, piled up.  Eula was always popular and outgoing and everyone knew her and loved her.  She always had boys chasing after her. 

            Eula Fay and Marion had two children, Beth and Anthony.  They lived in Big Rock when I was younger.  Anthony, aka Ant Ant, was closest to me in age but just a little bit younger.  He used to lay all the other cousins pictures down at Grandma’s house because he was jealous.  Grandma used to have to go around after he left her house, putting all the pictures back up.  He would also hide behind a tree when he saw the school bus coming.  Eula would have to call Grandma to tell her to take him to school again.  Eula Fay had a beauty shop in her house and was always busy giving perms and haircuts.  She gave me my first permanent when I was in the 8th grade during our school Christmas break.  She cut my long, straight hair in layers too so that when I went back to school, nobody recognized me.  I wore it that way for many years.  I loved to play around in her shop.  One time, when we were teenagers, Anthony asked me to trim his beard (what little he had) with a straight edge.  I said, “Sure!”  I sliced his neck and blood began pouring, scaring us both to death.

            One year at Christmas, I got some Play Dough, which I was so excited about.  I had all different colors only to wake up in the morning and find that all of my Play Dough had been squished together, making an ugly, swirly mess.  I’m still not sure which cousin did it but I had my suspicions.  Beth, aka Bessie Bo, Eula’s daughter was the likely suspect.   Beth was a couple of years older than me and just a little younger than Michael and my brother.  They didn’t like to play with her because she always smelled like onions (because she liked to eat them).  We have a picture of the three of them only because Michael and Kenny got paid to have their picture made with her.  Today, Beth is the chief nurse at the Clinch Valley Medical Center.  She is also beautiful and no longer smells like onions.

             My aunt Eula also got me a hamster one year, only because I had begged and begged while we were at a store in downtown Grundy.  It was white and looked more like a rat.  We brought the poor thing home in the little box they gave us, no food, no cage or any of the many things you need when buying a hamster.  We found a bigger box and put some shredded paper in it.  Sometime during that first night it escaped.  Our dog, Titch, must have chased it all over the house until the poor thing had a heart attack and died, or so that’s what my mama told me.   When my kids were young, I bought them a couple of hamsters; Little Bit and Bob.  I found out Little Bit was a female one day when I walked in out found them carrying on.  She eventually had babies and we found homes for them.  My youngest, Sam, was about 7 or 8 when he found Little Bit dead.  I said, “How do you know she’s dead?”  He cried, “Because she’s hard!”  I nodded thinking he deduced that pretty good.  Eula got liver cancer, shocking us all.  After she died, her husband Marion died soon after. 

            Sandy, mama’s youngest sister, was first married to Curtis Shortridge.  They had Kristy, but their marriage didn’t last.  She then married Jerry from Paris, Texas.  He went to college with Farrah Fawcett.  When Sandy and Jerry were dating, mom invited them over for dinner so we could all get to know them.  My brother and I ate with Kristy at the kids table in the kitchen while the grownups sat in the dining room.  I’m not sure whose bright idea it was but being the older cousins and all, we wanted to impress Jerry so we taught Kristy the song, Beans, Beans, good for your heart, the more you eat, the more you fart and then encouraged Kristy to sing it to her soon to be step-daddy.  We got in trouble good for that one but thankfully they got married anyway and are still married today. They had a son, Corey, or Corey Dorey, as we liked to call him.  I was 12 when he was born and I thought he was my baby. Kristy used to call me Kareno and then when Corey was little he started calling me Narno because he couldn’t pronounce his K’s.  They lived in the same neighborhood we did when Corey was a baby so I would babysit sometimes.  One day when school was out because of snow, I went to their house and found Corey in his playpen all covered in poop.  Sandy was long gone to work by then but I cleaned him up because I loved him so much, even though I gagged the whole time.

            I think I get my love of writing from Sandy.  She loves to write poems.  Maybe I can get her to let me post one of her poems.  Sandy and mama are the only sisters left, but before Betty, Sue and Eula died, they would have a special Christmas get together just for them.  Sandy would write poems to commemorate the occasion.  They were all close.  Seeing their relationships made me long for a sister of my own.  They always had so much fun together.  I loved being around them, listening to their conversations.  There was never a dull moment.  I learned all kinds of stuff because nobody was off limits.  They talked about everyone.

            When we were little Kristy, aka Cricket, and I use to drag out all of Grandma’s scraps of material she used for slips and panties, wrapping them around us like we were wearing fancy ball gowns.  Grandma liked to sew and made slips and panties (that’s what she always called them) for everyone.  I still have her pattern for her own panties.  I really didn’t like to wear her homemade panties.  She must have thought my legs were the size of a bean pole.  The panties would cut off my circulation causing pain and I wasn’t into pain, being a big baby and all.  Kristy was a Thumb sucker and she had this thing where she had to rub her silky panties between her fingers while she sucked.  If she didn’t have any silkies on she would have to rub yours.

            Besides clothes, Grandma would make pillows and potholders too.  I have some potholders stockpiled in bags so I don’t ever run out.  They’re all in wild colors too, made out of material she found on sale.  They’re really great but very flammable.  I’ve caught a few on fire.  Grandma also crocheted Afghans and butterflies which she would glue on googly eyes and magnets to hang on your refrigerator.

            Uncle Garry was married to Debbie, divorced Debbie and then married her again and divorced her again.  He then married Sabrina and they had a daughter, Elaina.  Garry and Sabrina divorced and now he’s been with Sue (not Aunt Sue) for about 30 years but they can’t agree on the day they met in February so they just celebrate the whole month.  Elaina is the youngest of the grandkids.  She got to live with Grandma the better part of her childhood, which made Grandma extra happy.  Elaina was one of those grandkids who have fond memories of watching soap operas with their grandma.  She still laughs about it today and remembers Victor Newman from Young and the Restless and also Sami from Days of our Lives.  Grandma used to say that ‘mean old Sami’ because she was always up to no good.  Elaina is a very talented musician and went to ETSU on a full band scholarship.  She can sing and play the guitar like her daddy.  Garry still plays the drums and guitar and puts a lot of his music on YouTube.