Monthly Archives: June 2022

This blog will be my last and the hardest to write.  When Adam was in 2nd grade, we decided to move back to Bristol.  I just got it in my head that I wanted to be closer to mama and daddy.  I felt this urgency and I didn’t know why but I would soon find out.  We sold our house in Fall Branch and bought a house in Bristol, Tennessee.  We found a cute Ranch style house in Redstone that was perfect for us.  We loved the house and we loved the neighborhood.  Adam and Sam would be attending Holston View school and things couldn’t have been more perfect, until they weren’t.

My life had been so busy with getting married and having babies that I hadn’t paid attention to what had been happening in my parent’s lives.  They had been growing apart and I was oblivious.  When mama came to me and told me that they were separating I was dumfounded.  They had been married for 34 years and the thought never even crossed my mind.  I was devastated and our lives would change forever.  The family would never be the same again.  

​I know that divorce is hard on children at any age but as an adult it felt like a death in the family.  I’ll never forget calling my husband, who was in Indianapolis covering the NASCAR race.  I had always tried to make life easy for Kenny, since I stayed at home and he worked so hard.  I never wanted him to worry about anything while he was traveling but let me tell you, I called him bawling and had him all torn up.  I knew my mother was hurting and on the verge of a nervous breakdown so I was trying to comfort her and protect her.  I was also trying to help daddy because he was devastated.  If I hadn’t had my faith to lean on, I would have fallen deep and given up.  With God’s help, I picked myself up and made the choice of making the best of it.  I loved my parents, flaws and all, and would always be there for them, no matter what.   

​As with anything, you learn to move on and adapt.  Mama remarried to Tom.  Marrying into such a close family had to be hard but Tom welcomed us with open arms and never tried to come between us.  As mama always told him, we were a package deal and thankfully he accepted that.  Tom treats my brother and I like we were his own children.  My mama is very fierce when it comes to her children and her grandchildren.  We have a very close relationship, and I don’t know what I would do without her.  She’s my biggest fan and supporter and would walk through fire to protect me.  

​Daddy had a rough time when they divorced.  He eventually married Mary.  I can’t say if he was happy.  Daddy was very private and kept his emotions hidden as best he could.  Sadly, Mary developed a very aggressive form of Alzheimer’s and died.  But, good times were ahead for daddy.  Before he had ever met mama, he met Evelyn.  He was in the Navy at the time and was on leave.  His good friend, Buford, introduced daddy to his sister at a Sadie Hawkins dance.  They fell in love and daddy asked her to marry him and she said yes.   Unfortunately, he had orders to go to Africa for 2 years.  Evelyn was only 18 and I’m sure 2 years seemed like a lifetime so the engagement didn’t last and she ended up marrying someone else.  

Buford called daddy one day (after Mary passed) and told him Evelyn’s husband had died and that he should call her.  Bless Buford’s heart.  Daddy called her and within a few short months they were married.  Daddy told me he felt like a teenager again.  He was so happy.  

​Evelyn has been such a blessing in my life.  Seeing the love between her and my daddy did nothing but bring me joy.  She loved him dearly and when he began showing signs of Alzheimer’s she took care of him with such love, until March 22 when he passed.  Remember when I said that daddy didn’t like to show his emotions?  As he got older that completely changed; he couldn’t tell you I love you enough.  He was the sweetest, kindest and most loving father you could ever have.  

This is the end of my blog. I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading and thank you for all the kind comments. God bless you all.

When Adam was a little over a year old, Larry sold IHRA.  They moved the sanctioning body to Waco, Texas.  I did not want to move to Texas so I applied for a job at the old Dominion Bank.  I was a bank teller.  Back then there were a lot of tellers and the bank was always busy.  It was a lot of fun but boy did we dread the first of the month and Fridays.  This was long before direct deposit and we had a lot of people coming in to cash their checks.  There were a few folks that apparently only came to town once a month.  

Every night before we closed, once we had balanced, we would take our cash and put it in the safe.  We had bundles of bound cash in our bottom drawer that also went into the safe.  One Monday morning I came bee bopping in, went to my teller station opened the drawer and there it was, my bound money.  Apparently I forgot to take it to the vault the previous Friday.  These drawers are not locked so anyone could have opened it up and then I would have been hosed.  My eyes grew wide, I looked from side to side to see if anyone was looking and then carefully slid the drawer back in its place.  I said a prayer of thanks that day.  

We were supposed to ask for identification if someone needed money out of their account or if they needed to cash a check (if you didn’t recognize them).  Some people would get very offended if you asked for ID which always baffled me.  One elderly man got so mad at me one time he had me in tears.  One fella, who was very rich and owned a car dealership in town, would order money to be made like a pad so he could peel one bill off at a time.   

​Bev Sharrett was the head teller and always a lot of fun.  She got pregnant, and before you knew it, almost the whole teller line was pregnant, including me.  There was either something in the water or we all had baby fever.  Kenny and I decided that once our new baby was born, I would quit work and stay at home.  I began having contractions about six months along so my doctor put me on Terbutaline again and I had a pretty non-eventful pregnancy.  Sam was born on a Saturday, November 18, 1989, again by cesarean.  He weighed 7.5 pounds and was 19 ½ inches long.

​Having a newborn and a two and half year old wasn’t easy.  I didn’t realize how easy I had it with just Adam.  Adam loved to go places and he was always so easy but Sam, not so much.  He decided he didn’t like the car seat when he was a baby and cried as soon as you put him in it.  Adam was a little jealous too, which is understandable since he had had all of my attention before his brother was born.  

​Since our family was growing, we decided to buy a bigger house and looked for something closer to Kingsport, where Kenny worked.  We bought a huge house in Fall Branch.  It had been on the market for awhile, probably because it was so stinky.  The boys loved it because it had this huge unfinished room where we had most of their toys which they called the “Big Room”.  We were out in the country but we had the sweetest neighbors that lived across the street, Leonard and Christine Gardner.  Christine had a green thumb and provided me with so many plants that I didn’t have to buy anything.  They also had a pool, which the boys loved.  The boys and I would feed their cows fresh grass clippings or throw them pears that had fallen on the ground.  The neighbors behind us were from Quebec.  They had a wonderful trail behind their house that we would walk on.  While we lived in Fall Branch, our family grew to include two more cats (Sidney and Simon) and Max, our poodle/terrier mix.  The cats were strays and just showed up one day.

​We joined the First Baptist Church in Fall Branch.  I absolutely loved that church and our pastor Vic and his wife, Dot.  They welcomed us with open arms and they were the nicest people you could ever meet, even when Sam was being sassy.  Once during church, Sam was acting up.  I kept shushing him, trying to make him be quiet.  About that time, the pastor got a little excited.  Sam stood up, put his finger to his mouth and said, “Shhhhhh … be quiet!”

Kenny had a lawn mowing business on the side and I did everything I could to save money so I could continue to stay home, including using cloth diapers.  Going to McDonald’s was a treat back then.  My aunt Sandy lived in Kingsport and the boys and I would go over there a lot in the evenings when Kenny was working.  I would clean her house to earn a little extra money.  

Adam went to Fall Branch Elementary which was kindergarten through 8th grade.  I helped Adam’s kindergarten teacher so much that Sam had his own desk.  She would watch him for me while I painted murals in the hallways at the school.  She would carry him to gym class or wherever they went.  Mrs. Shealy loved Sam and always included him like he was another kindergartner.  

I loved my boys but they could be a handful and were always getting hurt.  I just knew I was on someone’s list at social services of possible child abusers.  Sam broke his arm when he was two, broke his leg when he was three and had 1st and 2nd degree burns on his feet after he stepped in some hot coals at a campfire when he was four.  

Adam had his share of scrapes too.  He fell out of a tree when he was about eight and almost tore his arm off.  He broke his collarbone when he was about nine.  He also broke his arm skateboarding when he was a teenager.  It was so bad the bone punctured through his skin.  I don’t know how they survived and I don’t know how I survived.  At one point, I didn’t want them to even go outside. 

They were hilarious too.  They kept us laughing.  When Sam was about three he was digging in his nose pretty good and Adam tattled on him.  “Mom!  Sam’s picking his nose again!”  Sam replied, very smartly, “I’m gonna put it back!”  

The boys began playing a lot of video games. They played a lot of Mario, Toejam and Earl, Sonic the Hedgehog and lots more. Gameboys came out then too. Dinosaurs, Batman and Ninja Turtles (Adam called them Binjin Turters ) and Power Rangers toys were all over the house. When Adam was finally able to watch the Batman movie with Michael Keaton, he was mesmerized. I think he still can repeat the whole dialogue of the movie.

We had been married almost a year and half when I got pregnant with Adam.  I had gone to Dr. Repass because I had had a negative pregnancy test earlier but he confirmed that I was pregnant.  I was ecstatic and absolutely loved being pregnant.   Everything had been going great until I was about 7 months along.  I began having a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions which is not really abnormal but when I began having them every 10 minutes I finally called my doctor.  He sent me to the hospital.  It was at night and Kenny was at work.  I didn’t want to worry him or mama and daddy so I just went in thinking they would fix me up and I would come back home.  No such luck.  The contractions were coming closer and closer and everything they tried at the Bristol Hospital wasn’t working so they decided to send me to Johnson City, where they were better equipped to handle premature babies.  I had finally called Kenny and mama and told them they needed to come to the hospital.  

​I rode over in an ambulance and my contractions were 3-5 minutes apart but I wasn’t in a lot of pain so again, I wasn’t too concerned.  Being so young, I really didn’t have the sense to worry about it because I didn’t have a clue as to what could happen.  By the time I was in Johnson City, I remember the doctor saying, “Mag her up!” and the next thing I knew I had to throw up but I couldn’t even lift my head so it went all over my chest.  I’m not sure how Magnesium affects other women but for me it paralyzed my whole body.  I couldn’t talk plainly and had an extremely dry mouth.  I couldn’t move my limbs and I had triple vision.  Mama said that my face sort of drooped so I know I looked awful.  

​The magnesium ultimately worked and after about a week in the hospital, I was able to go home with orders to take Terbutaline until my 38th week and be on complete bed rest.  This was in May 1987 and I believe it was the hottest May on record (in my book anyway).  I was extremely bloated, with lots of fluid built up in my legs, which made it very painful to walk.

I thought that when I stopped taking Terbutaline, I would immediately go into labor.  No such luck but I began having hard contractions early in the morning on June 3 (Adam’s due date was June 6).  I was up pacing, practicing my breathing and excited.  Kenny got home from work and very nonchalantly said, “Wake me up when you’re ready to go.” What?!  So, I let him sleep, took a shower, and tried to be quiet until about 6 am when my contractions were 3-5 minutes apart.  I woke him up and we went to the hospital.  My contractions were coming fast and hard but I never dilated.  Dr. Gorrell told me my bones weren’t quite wide enough for Adam’s head but I could try and deliver him naturally or by Cesarean.  I remember looking at him and saying, “I don’t know.  You’re the doctor, you do what you think is best.”  So, he prepared me for surgery.  I’m glad we didn’t have Mr. Google back then.  I’ve been reading all sorts of bad things about Magnesium and Terbutaline. 

Kenny told me that he peeked behind the sheet and saw all my organs lying everywhere, willy nilly and it freaked him out.  He held my hand and together we heard our Adam cry for the very first time.  I knew that when I saw him I would love him but I never thought about his voice.  I still get choked up when I think about it.  Adam was absolutely beautiful and had the cutest little dimple in his chin.  He was 7.6 pounds and 20 inches long.  He was healthy and we were so happy and proud.

​Back then, they didn’t have private rooms so after I had Adam there was already another girl in my room that had already had her baby.  She was getting on my nerves crying all the time.  I didn’t know much about postpartum depression.  Well, she finally went home and then I became the crybaby.  It’s funny how your hormones just go haywire.  One of the nurses brought all the new mothers together so we could learn how to give a newborn a bath.  She asked if she could use Adam to demonstrate.  I was so proud and said sure.  I was all happy until he started crying and then I cried.  It was all I could do not to snatch him right out of her hands and run down the hallway.  Except I couldn’t run, I could barely walk.  The first time you stand up after a Cesarean, you feel like all your organs are going to fall out. “Keep trying” they said, “it gets easier the more you do it.”  Breastfeeding was extremely painful at first too.  Boy oh boy did I want to scream bloody murder when Adam latched on.  He was a sucker too.  He had blisters on his fingers and toes where he sucked so much in the womb.  

Adam was the sweetest, cutest and happiest baby.  He was also mama and daddy’s first grandchild so they were pretty excited too.  Mama had been begging to keep Adam and Kenny wanted to go out on a date with me.  I was breastfeeding and didn’t want to leave him because he was only 3 weeks old, but they finally talked me into it.  Kenny and I went to Byers Restaurant and got steak and cheese sandwiches.  I couldn’t be satisfied so I asked if I could use their phone so I could call mom and check on Adam.  Every time I called it was busy.  I went back to the table and bawled.  Eventually I got a hold of mama.  She had been on the phone yacking to her sisters, of course.  Kenny wanted to go play Putt-Putt just down the street so I went, even though I didn’t want to.  We played one game and then Kenny wanted to play again and I said, “No!  I’m going to get my baby!”  The first time you leave your child is always the hardest.  It definitely got better, to the point of “Yes!  Come and get him!”

Since I had been off a few weeks before Adam was born, I went back to work when Adam was just 6 weeks old which just about killed me. Since Kenny worked nights, he watched Adam during the day and mama picked him up about 3 and took him to her house. New mamas need more than 6 weeks to bond with their baby. Father’s need that bonding time too. I don’t remember Kenny being off any except maybe the day Adam was born. I’m so glad things changed when my boys became fathers.

I was still 19 when Kenny and I got married; just a few days shy of being 20.  Our ceremony was at noon because Kenny said he wanted to get it over with.  Ha-ha!  Bless his heart; he just couldn’t wait to marry me!  We had a lot of family staying at my parent’s house.  My granny and granddaddy (in from Florida) slept in my bed so I had to sleep with mom and dad on the eve of my wedding.  I guess I could have slept on the couch but mama wanted me close.  Our wedding wasn’t anything fancy and we had the reception downstairs in the fellowship hall of the church.  My wedding dress was a hand-me-down from my cousin’s wife.  It had been altered to fit me by a sweet friend of my grandma’s, Ms. Elizabeth.  Daddy walked me down the aisle and gave me away happily because he loved Kenny, as well as mama.  She loved to cook for Kenny as much as he liked to eat.  I think he gained 20 pounds while we were dating.  The first time I brought Kenny home to meet my parents, I warned him that daddy wouldn’t have much to say but he surprised us both.  He took to Kenny right off and offered him a beer from his keg in the garage.   

We went to Myrtle Beach on our honeymoon. We did a lot of moaning on our honeymoon but not from what you might think. We had the worst sunburns ever! In early April, it can still be pretty cool, even in South Carolina. If you lay real still on the beach you didn’t get too cold and the wind would just roll over you. I was on my back and Kenny on his stomach most of the day. We knew we were sunburned but we didn’t realize how bad it was until that night. We got some green Aloe Vera gel to help soothe the burn and I’m sure the maids thought we were pretty kinky. We still laugh about it.

​Our first home was a rental house in Bluff City, on Boone Lake.  We rented it from a preacher and his wife, who lived across the street.  Every piece of furniture we had was given to us by family.  It was a bit eclectic but it was free.  The first thing we ever bought was a television from Rex’s.  It was huge and built in its own cabinet.  My husband was so excited that he couldn’t wait for me to get home so he carried it in all by himself.  I don’t know how he did it!  Did I mention that he has a bad back today?  

​Kenny finally figured out I wasn’t much of a cook.  One of the first meals I learned to cook was Shake ‘N Bake pork chops and we had them all the time, along with Rice-A-Roni. The only cake I could bake was from a box Duncan Hines or Betty Crocker with canned icing.  I made some corned beef and cabbage in a crock pot once and I was so proud but learned that Kenny wasn’t a fan of cooked cabbage.  Back then I never bought real butter because we thought that was bad for you.  Instead we used margarine.   We had a lot of ham sandwiches, Pop-Tarts for breakfast and of course mom and Grandma’s house were always a great place to eat.  We always went to Grandma’s after church and she would have a huge meal.  She would burn rubber in the parking lot after services to get home and get everything on the table.  It never ceased to amaze me how she was able to pull it off.  We go to Victory Baptist Church today and sometimes we’re invited to the preacher’s house for lunch after church.  Vera, our pastor’s wife, is also a miracle worker, offering so many meats and vegetables and everything is always delicious.  

​We lived in the rental home for about 6 months until we bought a little green house on Virginia Avenue from Mary C who went to our church.  It had 3 bedrooms, 1 bath, a living room and a kitchen big enough for a small table.  Mom and dad let us borrow the money for the down payment but we paid it all back.  Mom was very instrumental in helping us find the house and it was the start of her career as a very successful realtor.  

​My job at IHRA consisted of creating and soliciting ads for the bi-weekly newspaper and our annual rule books/souvenir books.  It wasn’t easy because I was always competing with NHRA, which was a bigger and more successful sanctioning body.  I was on the phone all day calling companies that made parts for drag cars, or anyone else that might be interested in purchasing an advertisement.  I remember calling a pretty large corporation in California.  The girl that answered the phone put me on speaker so everyone in the office could hear me talking in my hick voice.  

​Kenny would travel quite a bit going to radio stations and television stations to promote the upcoming IHRA race.  I went to a few races (Norwalk ,OH, Cincinnati, OH, Milan MI, Darlington, SC, Rockingham, NC, and St. Louis, MO).  At the race, Kenny would be in the media center, taking care of all of the reporters and writing releases for the newspapers.  I would usually work different jobs.  Sometimes I would handle credentials and sometimes I would work in the timing booth which was pretty cool.  Meeting drivers like Kenny Bernstein, who liked to flirt, was definitely an experience.  He won his first NHRA Funny Car Championship the year we got married.  Don “The Snake” Prudhomme, Shirley Muldowney, “Big Daddy” Don Garlits, Joe Amato, Eddie Hill were all popular drivers at that time.

One time I was in the tower during an event and one of the drivers crashed his vehicle as he went down the strip.  I remember one of the officials saying it was a bad situation and the tension in the room was so strong.  The driver had hit the guard rail, cutting him and his car in half.  

There were lots of wrecks and also lots of shenanigans at the drag races.  

Our boss, Larry Carrier, who built and founded Bristol Motor Speedway, also founded IHRA, which was a huge rival for NHRA at the time. I always appreciated the fact that he hired me when I was so young, giving me a chance when no one else would. Of course he hired me cheap but he more than made up for it when I proved myself. Larry was a character and his mind was always working. Once, on April 1st, he called me into his office and said that he was sorry but Kenny would have to work the following weekend (our wedding day) at the round track race which had been postponed due to rain. Well, I just got so upset, not knowing what a prankster he was, and said, “We already sent out all the invitations!” He just laughed and laughed. I wrecked the company car once and the first thing he asked was, “Is she okay?” I’ll always remember how kind Larry and his wife, Shirley, were to us.

Kenny was offered a job at the Kingsport newspaper for more money so he decided to take it. He was a sports reporter, covering mostly football and races. Racing, especially round track racing, was so popular that Kenny eventually became a full time racing reporter, traveling all over the country, thus beginning his impressive career in NASCAR.

Right after I graduated high school, grandpa died. He was only 67. It was hard for everyone to watch him suffer like he did. He couldn’t breathe. Grandma had some burial plots in Big Rock, Virginia and that’s where Grandpa was buried (where my dad is buried today) but she eventually had him moved to Bristol so she could visit his grave more. Poor Grandma did not do well when Grandpa passed but she perked up when Uncle Garry and cousin Elaina moved in with her.

​That fall, after I graduated high school, I took some night courses from East Tennessee State University; Accounting and Economics.  That was enough to make me not want to go back.  They were the most boring classes ever.  I was also working 3 part-time jobs, including a little pizza joint that used to be on King College Road.  Larry S. came in one day and asked the restaurant owner if he knew of anyone looking for a job that could sell advertising.  It was for the International Hot Rod Association (IHRA), which was the drag racing sanctioning body at the race track.  Of course I said I was (looking for a job) and ended up getting it.  That’s how I became the Advertising Director for IHRA and one reason I didn’t want to go back to school.  It was also the place I met my husband, Kenny Bruce, who was the media director for IHRA.  I’ll never forget the first time I laid eyes on him.  He had been out of town when I first started but stopped by my office when he came back and introduced himself.  I was hooked from that first day.

​Kenny was 6 years older than me and I was still 18 when we met but almost 19.  I flirted like crazy but he was slow when it came to asking me out on a real date.  He was older and sophisticated, funny, smart and I had to have him.  About a month after we met he had a birthday and he was turning 25.  I told him to tell me what cake he wanted and I would make it.  He said German chocolate was one of his favorites.  I promptly went home and said, “Mama, I need you to make me a cake.”  I was still living at home and had never learned how to cook.  Mama always liked to cook and have someone else clean up the dishes; still does.  She made the cake and I presented it to Kenny and never told him (until later) that I didn’t bake it.  I know, it was kind of sneaky but it worked.  Not long after, we were working a horse auction for Larry Carrier (the race track owner at the time) and Kenny finally asked me out.  Mama and daddy were out of town so I was staying at Grandma’s house because even though I was almost 19 years old, mama wouldn’t let me stay by myself.  Kenny took me to The Firehouse (Barbecue) in Johnson City and then we saw the movie Splash.  

​I don’t remember much of what happened in 1984 globally, but I know Alabama was very popular, along with Wham.  Kenny and I saw the movie, Purple Rain, in the old theater on Volunteer Parkway.  People were dancing in the aisles.  It still gives me chills to hear the beginning of Let’s Go Crazy.  I wanted to get up and dance too! 

​Kenny was from Rocky Mount, Virginia (right outside of Roanoke) but he went to East Tennessee State University (following his sister Linda’s footsteps).  Just like me, he was the baby of the family but he had 3 older brothers and 2 older sisters (Wesley, Linda, Mark, Deborah and Phillip).  I was a bit intimidated by them all when Kenny took me home the first time.  I’m sure they wondered why he was dating a little girl.  Mark still calls me “Grundy, Virginia” using a very southern accent when he says it because, apparently, when he asked me where I was from, I said I was born in Grundy, Virginia and I guess I must have sounded a bit countryfied.  Kenny’s mom, Lonnie, is a very strong Christian woman.  She scared me a little bit at first.  One of the first times I ever visited, she asked me to wrap a package.  I really mangled that package and I remember her looking at me funny.  I was so embarrassed.  They were all so sweet but boy did they like to talk.  I didn’t have to say much because they always kept the conversation going.  Deborah and Linda did most of the talking and his brother Wesley would always be standing at the doorway on the verge of leaving but always finding something else to say.  Phillip could have been Kenny’s twin, but he was 4 years older.  Kenny’s daddy lived in Martinsville.  He had been in a car accident years before and had a back injury.  While in surgery, the doctor’s damaged his spinal cord and he was paralyzed.  Kenny and his dad would always talk about Nascar.  All of Kenny’s family have always good to me.  

I mentioned earlier that daddy used to say that he was made to go to church every time the doors were open and that he wouldn’t do that to us. So, we didn’t go to church at all. I always felt like something was missing. Grandma went to Virginia Avenue Baptist Church and I would sometimes go with her when I was a teenager. She loved for her family to go to church with her. Her goal was to fill up the whole pew. Some of my favorite memories of her are standing next to her while she sang her favorite hymns. I can’t sing There’s Power in the Blood without thinking of her. She would hit those high notes with such enthusiasm. She always had her purse full of candy and Werther’s Orignials (caramel) were my favorite. My least favorite was the soft peppermints, which she must have bought in bulk.

After Kenny and I began dating, we would go to church (when we weren’t traveling to the races). David Lay was our pastor. We asked him to marry us and he told us he would but he wanted for us to take classes before we did. While we were dating, we accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior and were baptized together. Being so young, I had no idea what it took to keep a marriage strong but I knew that I loved God and I loved Kenny. That right there has kept us going for over 37 years.